Here we go again! Another month, another plan, another ME! That is right. In the past 38 days, my life has yet been rearranged. But~ I am okay with that. God's plan is mightier than I so I'm going to hold on tight and see where this goes.
There is no way to re-count the last month, but I will do my best. On January 19th, I sat for my 2nd OAT. This is the test score that pretty much would determine my next 5 years, at best. I spent days and weeks preparing and at 8AM, I was ready. I mean, I was really confident. I went in with an attitude of success. This time would be completely different than the first. And it was! To begin with anyway...I sat for my first testing section- Natural Sciences. It was 100 questions in 90 minutes covering Biology(40), Chemistry(30) and Organic Chemistry(30). The first time I took this test, I did not even finish answering the questions. In fact, I barely finished the 40 over Biology and the 30 over Chemistry and never even began the Organic questions. This time, though, I finished with time to review all 90 questions! I was so excited! I felt confident and comfortable going into the Reading Comprehension portion. No sweat there and into the 15 minute break. I used the restroom and sat back down to rock the rest of this test. Next was 40 Physics questions in 50 mins~ my warning timer reminded me I had 15 minutes left and I was barely half way done. Same with the Math portion. My mind went blank and it was like I had never taken trig before. The good and the bad about this testing system? I get "unofficial" scores right away. No waiting, No worrying. BUT~ lots of tears. Because I actually did WORSE on this test than I did the first time I took it. I was devastated. But, there was still time. I could register to take it again, which is what I did right away. I had until March 1 right?
Wrong. Very wrong. I let that day pass with the optimism of a retake in a few weeks. I dove head first into my classes making sure I did not miss, I took all the notes, I did all the homework. I studied for hours, promising myself I was going to get this right. First exams were all in the same week. The end of January, first of February was going to be the week I got my life back on track. Wrong again. I did not perform as well as my effort had proven. On Wednesday, February 1 I failed my first Organic test. This was the one class I promised myself I would not slack. I would start out strong so less stress as the semester progressed. I was so disappointed. It seemed as if the harder I tried at these classes, the worse I was performing. WHY?!? I did not understand. Well, that bad day got worse because when I got home that evening, a letter from UAB was waiting for me. UAB? Already? I thought I had few more months! For some crazy reason, in my brain I thought they would hold my application until the deadline and allow me to continue to improve it. Never crossed my mind they may make a decision before April. I was entirely prepared for a rejection letter in April or May. But not now...
I could not hold back the tears any longer. I cried. And I cried. And I cried. I think I was crying for all the changes in my life for the past 18 mos. The anger and the fear and the frustration could not be held back any longer. I spent hours talking with Blanton, with my sister, with my mom. Pretty much with anyone who would listen. In fact, I even cried to my girlfriends in the middle of Mom & Dad's because I could not hold back any longer. Finances were scaring me. What was I going to do next? How would Blanton and I ever be able to get married? Have a family? I jumped right back into the job market, updating my resume and looking for openings. I actually applied for an amazing job with Smith & Nephew, but as with most of my luck, I was too late. The hiring manager received my resume the day he was interviewing his final candidates. I have applied with the American Heart Association and American Red Cross. The AHA job is director of the Birmingham heart walk and would be completely amazing! I spoke with the director in Valdosta, who was great, but I don't feel like the hiring process will go quickly. My resume is the hands of many in Birmingham so I guess anything can happen.
I didn't completely give up on school either. I really want another degree. To prove to myself I gave every bit of intellectual talent I have to bettering myself. So if Optometry school wasn't it, there had to be something else. Audiology would be perfect~ especially with the amount of people who pop earbuds in their ears and play their music too loud! Midwife school was also a possibility. Or Physician's Assistant. Or Physical Therapist. Or anything that might give me letters behind my name? But I missed the Au D deadline by two weeks (story of my life) and the others by a year or more. I had no idea the application process took place so far in advance! Midwife school is still an option. I can get an accelerated BSN from UAB in about 18 mos and apply to an online MSN/CNM program. I have even gone so far as to talk with Teresa Johnson about midwife school. It's still on the backburner, just in case. But for now there are so many questions, so many decisions, all I want to do is pull the covers up over my head for a few days.
Which is exactly what I did. I allowed myself a week to breathe. I took it easy on schoolwork, I slept and spent time with those whom I love so dearly. Now I am forcing myself to re-focus on school, get back in gear and finish this semester with the As I promised myself to begin with.
But not all this time has been bad - even though the devil has been working hard, I have still managed to see God's amazing blessings. The weekend after the OAT, Saralyn, Camden, Hailyn and I loaded up and drove to Crestview to surprise Whit, D and Avery. They had no idea I was bringing company. They were super excited and we had so much fun. Friday night was nothing more than hellos and goodnights. The girls were tired and so were we! Saturday, Whit had to work and Daniel was helping at the church so Sa, Cam, Avery, H and I hung out at the house and played. The most fun was playing IN the bounce house upstairs with the girls. I absolutely love the sound of their giggles and listening to them playing together. We had lunch at the house, took naps, played outside for a little while and then loaded up and went bowling. Quite an adventure with a 7 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 year old. It really took all 4 adults to make this field trip. That bowling alley was crazy busy with a squadron competition, several birthday parties and a tournament starting up that evening. I promise 1 game was all it took to wipe every single one of us out. Home for dinner, bath and bed. Sunday morning was a lazy day listening to the girls play. We ordered pizza for lunch and hit the road soon after. Mom and Pryor had been to the coast that weekend and we actually met up with them in Tallahassee. They met us for yogurt before we headed towards Hahira.
The next Friday, I left to head home. I hadn't seen Blanton since I left on January 15. It was time. I missed him terribly and we had a lot to talk about. A lot of decisions to make. Great weekend, but way too short. I left Monday morning heading back to Valdosta.
Thursday afternoon was another trip back to Alabama. Whit, Daniel and Avery were coming to visit! I met Courtney for drinks on Friday night at the Summit. She has been absolutely amazing to me! Along with keeping me company and answering my incessant Bham questions, she has been helping me job hunt as well. She has invested a lot of time on me and it means the world. The Jacobs arrived about 2 on Saturday. Whit and D had dinner reservations at 530, I think so they were off to Chucks and to see Celtic Woman. B, AJ and I were left to fend for ourselves. She was so funny. She laughed and giggled and chatted all night. Sunday was breakfast, a trip to Fresh Market (cannot come visit without one) and WalMart so I could put together a gift for Whit. They hit the road about 2 and I had planned to follow, but homework roped me in to one more night. Monday morning trek back to Valdosta began about 6AM.
Almost caught up! Last weekend, Matt and Kelly were supposed to come and visit but had a last minute change of plans. I had already promised Courtney I would be back in time for her Stella & Dot launch party on Thursday night. I got there about 7, stayed until about 9-930 and was so glad I did. Her launch did not go as planned so I was so glad I could be there for her. Friday, I was L-A-Z-Y and it was nice. I got to love on the pups and we laid on the couch watching TV until B got home from work. We had dinner plans with Courtney and Tim at another great restaurant near our apartment. Ginza is the best sushi in town and it is also a Korean BBQ. I am super excited~ it was so good and I cannot wait to go back. Saturday was not the lazy day we expected as we got another dinner invitation. Being in a new town, it is hard to turn down chances to hang out with new friends. Todd and Kayla took us to Chucks and showed us a great time also. Needless to say, we were wiped out Sunday. But, I did manage to get all the laundry done, pick up the apartment, have coffee with Courtney and make it back to Valdosta by 11PM.
WHEW!! So much to tell and I never even got a chance to mention any of my girlfriends and their crazy lives! My grandmother did have back surgery that I was able to be here for. My dad flew to Chicago for a week on business. And all the cute stories about the girls I promised myself I wouldn't forget... I have forgotten most of them :( That was one of the main reasons I wanted to start this darn blog. I guess that only means that posting more than once every 6 weeks will become necessity.
I know I left out so much, I am angry with myself! But I will end on some very high points~ Until I know exactly where my life is headed, I have found some great, exciting ways to fill my days. I have signed on to be a stylist with Stella & Dot. I am excited about the company and excited about the possibilities. There are a number of financial advantages, but more than anything it will expose me to so much of Birmingham I may not have had the chance to meet. I also have prayers going out for another exciting adventure that could change my life forever. We are praying hard, doing our homework and hoping that one day very soon we have a HUGE announcement to make to our family and friends ~ AND NO, I am not talking engagement!
Okay~ my promise to myself, at least one more post within the week
I love you all and thanks for allowing me to ramble
xoxo
Lindsey
